“Good laws make it easier to do right and harder to do wrong.” ― William Ewart Gladstone .Most of us will agree that laws are necessary to keep order and protect us. It’s easy to see what problems most laws are designed to solve. However, that is not always the case when it comes to some of the crazy pet laws which are on the book around the country. We don’t need no education. In Hartford, Connecticut, a law makes it illegal to educate dogs. Apparently, there is a problem with intelligent canines taking over Connecticut. Be smart. Don’t start. If you’re in Zion, Illinois, the law forbids you from giving lit cigars to dogs, cats, and other pets. You have to wonder if this was a popular practice prior to the law being enacted, and if the problem arose from health concerns or from the fire hazard. If you keep making that face, it's going to stick like that. In Oklahoma, anyone caught making “ugly faces” at dogs may be fined and/or jailed. Were too many dogs complaining? Again, you have to wonder if this was a popular activity. Why can’t we be friends? A North Carolina law forbids dogs and cats from fighting. You have to applaud the good people of North Carolina for taking a stand for inter-species peace. Still, there is a reason we have the expression “fighting like cats and dogs!” Should have gone before we left home. Marysville, Ohio has a law making it illegal for a dog to urinate on a parking meter. Fair enough. No one likes a wet meter. The funny thing is there are no parking meters in Marysville, Ohio. Better safe than sorry, I guess. Your fifteen minutes are up! Back to Illinois. In Northbrook, it’s illegal for dogs to bark for more than fifteen minutes. But 14:59 is okay? Presumably, this law was created to motivate owners to check on dogs that might need help. Good idea, but who starts the timer? First, no fighting! Now, no mating? In California’s Ventura County, a law prevents cats and dogs from mating without a permit. I’m not sure if this means with each other or not, but at least they’re not fighting. Who issues the permit? Bad boys, bad boys… Connecticut has a law requiring any dogs with tattoos be reported to the local police. This must be a sign of dog gangs. Are these the dogs your mother warned you about? You light up my life. The people of Sterling, Colorado have found it necessary to pass a law making it illegal for cats to run loose unless they have been fitted with a tail light. This should cut down on those terrible feline traffic accidents. A little hair of the dog? And we return once again to Illinois for this law… In the Prairie State, it is illegal to give a dog whiskey. Well, at least that should help cut down on those terrible doggie hangovers.